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It has been a while since I have had time to say anything on here, a lot has been happening. First off, to catch every one up my husbands SSD came through and his first check hit the bank last month…that helps!

I had finally talked him into letting me get him a wheel chair, and as a result it has gotten him out of the house and has also brightened his spirits quit a bit! We got his chair back in March and since then he has been to Lowe’s twice, Wal-Mart just the other day (that was the first time in 1.5yrs!), 3 gun shows, (he likes to collect them) and has been out with out boys shooting the guns these past two weekends. For the first time in a long time he is starting to smile and joke around again…that is neat. This past week I have sent my resume out to several business around here, have had one interview (went well too) tomorrow I am taking my resume to other businesses again. So I am now praying that I will soon land a job to help support my family. I think and hope that by my being out of the house will help my husband come further out of his depression and give him more reason to get out of the house and try a bit harder. Getting his wheel chair has truly helped him more than I thought. Those of you out there with a similar situation, just get the wheel chair and set it in the hall way, in the closet, near the wall some where…just out of the way, but where it can still be seen. The difference it has made is remarkable!

I have always been a stay at home mom other than the years we had our company, I worked there but at the same time still had the kids with me. My husband was the one out working and now it is my turn. I am afraid and nervous, but mostly I am worried about my family this is a total change for us. My children are not used to me not being here for them like I have been in the past. Our daughter is already showing signs as a little child would. She doesn’t like me to leave her when I drop her off at school, or Sunday school class, she has started being real clingy and is beginning to cry at school. I know things will be okay even for her. It will take some getting used to and they will adjust. But as a mom always does…I am worried about them.

I hope everyone has been well since I have been here, I am not sure when the next time I  will be able to come back, but I will be back.

Talk to you later,

In Christ,

Kristy

GOOD NEWS FOR MY HUSBAND TODAY!! SSD called and his  disability was granted!!! We have to talk to the SSA I guess to sign papers?? I don't know, I just take one day at a time... I don't have much time at the moment, I just wanted to tell all the awesome news that came today!

GTG - In Christ, Kristy

Is there not a way your family would let you back home, to restart? I have no way of helping financialy, I am sorry about that, but would your family let you come back to stay until you were on your feet again?

Kristy

Just so everyone understands this group I thought I would start, it is just a place where you can sit and type your emotions, thoughts, or just your daily happenings. Sometimes when we don't have anyone around to actually talk to, it is nice to write or type it out.  It is much better than holding it in and you end up feeling some of the pressures of the moment, or the day leave. I know it helps me =)

Also, maybe this could be a way to help others relate to you...we aren't alone, we all have the same situations in a sense, and you know...maybe we could all benefit from each other in "listening" (reading) the others day, the others emotion.

Well if you aren't sure about it, try it...                                 and see if you feel better  =)

TTFN, Kristy

This might really sound bad, or maby I just realized my "DUH" moment =)

But I just realized that I had received an ms from you! Another words, I really just realized how to use this site! =)

Anyway, thanks for the web site info...if you remember me, it has been a coulple of days, I briefly checked it out and am going to go back in a sec, but wanted to tell you...THANK YOU! =)))

I accidently stumbled on here, and you know what you are doing is really wonderful! You have made a way for people to connect with each other in ways that may not be possible otherwise. You have made it so no matter the situation, one can see they are not alone. You must have a true understanding for everyday life which gave you a sense of what people truely need. Just to know someone cares enough to take that extra step and say here, I can help you find what you are looking for, to keep something like this rolling, and to know that there is hope. Good Job I must say! Blessings, Kristy

This is one of those lonely nights, at least that is what I call them. I get this way once I actually slow down and take a moment to watch something on t.v. I end up missing the cuddling and being together. Oh well. If I get to thinking too hard about it it becomes almost depressing. It is weird how you can live in the same house, love each other, not have any arguments, or anything but not ever get to be together in any way. I sleep on the edge of our king size bed so I am not too close in fear that I might get too close to his leg, or who knows what. Weird how you really can't control what you do in your sleep, at least not totally. You know?? Sometimes he asks me to not hold his hand because his pain is so bad. He will try to explain how even that hurts at times, I understand that too. Having a baby without meds is the only thing I can think of that was the most painful, and yeah even being touched at times was unbearable. I did think of a way to dance with him again. Not sure that it would work, but at least I was thinking of a way?? I could sit behind him on the bed, and sway back and forth. But each time I would get the nerve to try, I would fine him with tears because he was hurting too bad, or asleep. I do dance with him in my thoughts. I really can't talk to him about much any more, he is either hurting to bad asks me to please wait a moment because he wants to have a conversation with me, he just can't do it right now, then his meds have made him fall asleep. I know he is as lonely as I am, I see it in his eyes...but each time I do have a moment to watch a movie with him like I just did, 30min. later he is sleeping. But at least I did get that 30 minutes right? I know it is lonely when a spouse has passed away, I have not walked those shoes yet, but I wonder sometimes which is more lonely missing them because they are gone, or missing them because you can't touch or talk to them when they are still here with you, laying there next to you in bed in pain but still you can't hold them to give comfort because it hurts them too bad.

I am going to go now... may be back later. But although no one may actually see this, that is okay just writing this, typing this really makes a person feel better, me anyway.

Hello, I really like what you are doing =) your big, and caring heart really shows through. Just wanted to give you a thumbs up, boost of encouragement maybe. I have visited a few of your listings, they are neat!

 Keep it going, don't stop even when times seem like they maybe overwhelming you, just take that lllooonnng hot bath, pray and take a deep breath, He is alway there.

In Christ, Kristy

I am not educated on the orginazations out there that can help, but in the town you live in are there groups that raise funds to aide situations like yours, or is there a way you and a group could work together in asking a car dealer ship to help out or even donate for your cause?

Like I said, I don't know what all is out there as far as helping a person, I myself am in a bind, but I had the thought and figured I could share it with you...

I also do not know your beliefs, but we all are in need somehow, my way of dealing with situations no matter what they might be is to lean on the Lord, he is the most comforting, understanding and will be there during all times.

God Bless, and I hope my idea might open a pathway to a vehicle that you are needing...

Kristy

My husband and I have (there we are in the pic before the accident) been married 15.5yrs, we have 3 children - 14, 11, & 5. In the past year we were forced to close our computer/surveillance company due to a motorcycle accident involving my husband that has left him disabled. Before closing our company I knew I needed to learn the steps in surveillance (the only department we kept going ... sort of) and I now have my contractors license. This is not something I would suggest to every female out there, it is hard work, but has put some food on the table. I currently install cameras for one company, yet I have been forced to decline installations lately because of his increasing needs. I have searched careers available and have found one I believe would not only support my family but help in paying the medical bills that require a lot of our funds, funds that really are no longer there. Three weeks prior to his accident, I added him to our health insurance plan only to find out the day after the accident his condition and anything pertaining would be considered "pre-existing", their excuse "your policy addition is still in the decision status" -what ever-! He has had 4 surgeries all of which have failed, each needing down deposits and so on (because we are not insured, hospitals and Dr.’s require a certain percentage down payment before procedures can take place) because of the surgeries, medications, rental of home health care equipment our funds have depleted. We recently lost our vehicle (repo), and are waiting to celebrate Christmas with our children (I could go on with that subject, about things we have lost, but we are all there now or have been at one time or another). My parents and his parents have helped us a great deal.

He can no longer walk on his own most of the time and does not have disability. I feel at times like I have been cornered, but yet I know I haven't for God only gives us situations he KNOWS we can handle, although sometimes it seems as though we can't. We home school our children, and I do my best to keep our finances rolling, but it has come to the place where he needs more and more assistance. Although surveillance is a market in demand, I don’t have the time to sell my abilities, nor install the jobs that come my way. I need something I can do here at home so I am not working to pay someone else to care for my husband. I know he would not want a stranger in the house, and personally neither would I. To start this new career will require payment to a school program, and well I don't have the funds, nor do I have the credit anymore to apply for loans.

Does anyone know of a way to find out what grants / scholarships are out there with out having to purchase a book on how to find them? To pay for this schooling the cost is 3,800.00, the most expensive price I have seen, the lowest price was 2,400.00.